Relationships which make you feel Unloved!

I keep reading Positive Thinking blogs and I feel they always inspire me and have given me valuable insights into my life's struggles. I recently came across a blog by Iyanla Vanzant, "Unloving Situations". It just felt like the Divine was reaching out to me through this blog. 
It made rethink and realize that there are times when we are in the most unhappiest time of our lives and we latch onto people and relationships, who give us nothing in return. We treat them just as emotional anchors. And I am totally guilty of it! 
Its like a vicious circle. You love someone who doesn't love you back the way you want them to and there is someone who loves you like crazy but unfortunately there is zilch attraction between the two of you. How much ever you try, it is very difficult. Love is so tricky! Phew!!
Yet we can still break this vicious circle by getting out of relationships which are unloving, disrespectful, inadequate and do not honor us as human beings and for being part of a relationship. A relationship should make you happy, help you grow as a person and not make you feel sad and inadequate for most of the time. It is not right to let another person walk all over you for the sake of love.Where they are not clear on your role in their life and they keep you on the sidelines and keep you hanging. Love is beautiful and it is the only thing that helps you grow as a human being. Then why should you compromise on this most beautiful thing in your life. It is better to be alone than be with someone who does not value you and does not respect you. Unless and until your heart is in doubt the relationship cannot grow. And if you keep getting the feeling of inadequacy and anxiety fills you up, it is better to move out and than prolong the pain of being in another inadequate relationship. Because it is not possible to make another person happy if you are unhappy in a relationship.
We meet people who really love you but unfortunately it is not possible to love everyone who loves you but yes, we can let them go to find the person who can love them back. Its better to be upfront rather than keep them hanging. 
Neither of the above situations can make us happy. It is not loving to convince yourself that it is okay to stay in a place where you are not loved, honored, and valued the way your heart tells you you deserve to be. 

Love is the greatest healing power of all.

‘’Love is what we were born with.  Fear is what we learned here.’’ Marianne Williamson.

LOVE BEGINS WITH YOU: Your inner voice is where your story of love begins: It is hard to feel worthy of love if someone is criticizing you all the time and especially if that someone is talking in your head.

True love isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.

Love and kindness is a way of living.  Where there is love, there is no judgment.  Where there is judgment, there is no love.

Love is the great transformer ,  the greatest medicine to heal the whole world.

Love is something you and I must have.  We must have it because our spirit feeds

upon it.

Love is the greatest healing power of all.

Love fuels passion, hope and desire. It generates creativity giving us purpose and making us feel alive.

 All your love matters and makes a difference.

 Love is accepting others as they are, allow them to be themselves and stop trying to change them.

From  Neale Donald Walsch, in his best-selling series Conversations With God, he shared one of the most profound solutions to any challenge you may ever be faced with. He gives us one of the most powerful 5-word questions you will ever hear. This is a question that you can ask yourself if you ever feel a need to react to someone else's unkind behavior. Here's the question: What would LOVE do now?

You can ask this question the next time you feel challenged to respond or react to someone who, you feel, has wronged you.

You see, love truly is ALL THERE IS. The Beatles sang.

Love is the path of joy. Love is the building block of life. Love takes the form of thoughts, words and deeds. Choosing love is like exercising any muscle. The more it is repeated, the easier it becomes.

Karina Loureiro. 

l'amour est éternel

Love is Eternal........Its Everlasting...! We were all born to love. Love gives immense pain and joy. We all seek it throughout our lives. Its the essence of the soul. Everyone wants it, some are afraid to feel it. Being in love is the greatest feeling on this earth and yet we are saddened when its unrequited. We hurt each other in the name of Love.

Here is a poem by Christopher Setturland

 Love is eternal. Though the body is not, the spirit is willing. Love is eternal. Not just a hug and a kiss, love is a deep ocean for the people we miss. Love is eternal. Behind the eyes, in between mind and soul, so sacred a place where it lies. Love is eternal. A moment or an eon, time is no restraint, that love you feel lasts forever. Love is eternal. Everyone wants it, some are afraid to feel it, just comes down to trust and faith that it will find a way. Love is eternal. Through the light of heaven it still shows, so pure, so deep, this emotion, straight through the heart it goes.

Love is the beginning and the end, a birth and death intertwined as a maze called life. Love is courage, the bravery to open those locked doors, to hold on to those moments like never before. Love is fighting, not a war, but for every second more, every single instant worth fighting for. Love is saying no in the face of death. a sacrifice of all you have for that someone’s happiness.

It’s in each sunset, the colors so vivid and beautiful, in every star that dots the night sky. It’s in the first smile, first 20 words of a child, first kisses, all of the euphoric highs and near misses. It’s in us all when we think of you, so strong and deep it can only be true. We’ll remember that love and give thanks at each new day, to the sunrise we know you help show on its way.

Love is eternal, though the body may bend, when from here we go the love does not end. Love is eternal, though breath may cease, love is the one thing, the one part we do not release. Love is eternal, from all of us to you, no matter when or where, always know we will feel it then too.

Love is eternal...

Fear in Relationships

Generally what we call relationships in general language are based on our attachments and attractions. We make a image of another person is our mind. If that image matches our imagination of a good person then we start liking that
person. With more and more time with that person dependence on that person for our happiness keeps increasing. This is attachment. It always comes with fear. Fear of losing the acceptance of the other person, fear of any change in the thoughts, feelings or behavior of other person towards us. As soon as
it changes we get hurt and then blame other person for breaching our trust. We want their acceptance back at any
cost. We want them to be the same way with us on any cost. We get
angry if this doesn't happen.

This kind of fear comes out of dependence. In such a state of dependence we are always uncertain about the other person's feelings, thoughts and behavior towards us. We crave consistency in the other person's feelings, thoughts and behavior towards us. If this doesn't happen then we get hurt. This uncertainty, this fear, this
contradiction within, these arguments which keep happening within us keep troubling us continuously.

We are lonely inside. We want to get rid of this loneliness. We keep searching for somebody who can quench this thirst in us which manifests itself as loneliness.

When we get that person we get attached. Parallely we get fears of loosing them. When the person with whom we are attached changes their behavior with us, we get hurt. A feeling of opposition, hatred, jealousy starts coming in us. We keep troubling ourselves.

If we see ourselves then almost all our activities are happening for the sake of escaping from fear rather than to
understand it. When we are lonely we go to some restaurant, to a movie, to some amusement park or to some other place where we feel we will have fun. We make new friends or we keep searching for somebody who can make us feel good to get rid of this loneliness which is residing within us and is killing us continuously. We leave the friends who are now unable to make us feel good and make new friends. We get
associated with a new group, get associated with a new thoughts, new sets of people, make a new guru, start reading new books and other things. Most of the time the thing which we are doing is the escapism from the fear. We try to substitute fear with a thing which can not be substituted by that and it rather gives rise to many other problems which we have already seen. We see that there is something missing
in our lives but we do not know what it is and we keep searching. This is escapism.

In one line it can be said that cause of internal fear in a human being is lack of understanding of one's true nature and ultimately this internal fear itself becomes the cause of all the external fears, insecurities, lack of peace, wars, world wars etc.

Due to lack of understanding in a human being of their true nature, they recognize themselves in association with something like power, position, beauty, intellect, contacts with others, others perception towards him etc. This is what becomes the cause of attachment, cause of wrong evaluation
of oneself, ego in oneself and expectation from others to keep the evaluation consistent, right and good. When others do this we feel good, else bad and we start getting a feeling of opposition for the other person. This feeling of opposition for other person comes due to lack of understanding of oneself only. This feeling of opposition within ultimately becomes the cause of violence outside, so it is the internal environment which needs to be changed in a human being.

Ultimately the content of study for a human being is oneself. Due to lack self knowledge we blame others for our
feelings of breach of trust, disrespect, opposition, hatred, jealousy and many others and then want to change them. This process leads to violence.

At this point it is clear that there is a need for increase in human understanding of their true nature. What is the content of this understanding? There are only two questions which a human being has in his life. What we want and How can we
achieve it?

What do we want? Happiness, Prosperity, Relationships, Fearlessness in Society and Co-existence in Nature.

How can we achieve it? With an increase in understanding in every individual about their true nature.

This is real education.

PEOPLE CHANGE, CIRCUMSTANCES CHANGE

Its funny how certain people who mattered in your life a few months back, totally become obsolete in your life. This is probably because of the following reasons:
1.We sometimes discover certain sides of them which were unseen before.
2. We change our outlook in life.
3. Circumstances change.
4. We also sometimes realise they were not what they seemed to be.
5. They sometimes don't meet our expectations.

What I have realized is that Life changes and we need to flow with life. Holding on to people only gives more misery than happiness. Relationships or people are not always forever and we need to remember that and approach each day as a new day and with a mindset that people and circumstances will change..And we should be prepared for the Inevitable. I am still trying and I know I still have a Long way to go..