Over the years I have realized and experienced this adage to
the fullest that a woman is another woman’s worst enemy. I know a lot of
feminists will be appalled at my conclusion but quite from my fellow gender
would definitely agree with me.
They say Men have tortured and dominated women for ages as
it is a male dominated society but a lot of times women have dug their fellow
gender’s graves out of sheer jealousy and malice in their hearts.
Since I was little I experienced my grandmother’s malice
towards my mother and me, and the instigation of my father against my mother
and her family. Unfortunately this behavior of hers caused our family to
regress by a number of years until she left us to live with my cousin sister. But
the damage was already done. Another one of my maternal aunts destroyed my
maternal grandmother’s family and still leaves no stones unturned to doing bad
or bitching about my mom and her family. A lot of conflicts are due to women of
the families.
Studying in an all girls’ convent was no less than
traumatic. Never in my dreams had I thought fellow schoolmates could be so mean
and hateful and jealous, and this is something I kept experiencing over the
years as I grew up. There was this girl in my design institute, who started out
as my best friend and then turned a whole group of friends against me just out
of jealousy. Or a girlfriend who thought it was ok to pull me down because of
my social status and the area I lived in and another friend who decided to
sleep with the guy I liked all the while pretending he was just a friend. Or a
cousin who thought it was Ok to ill-treat me and dominate and throw her weight
around while we travelled together on some trips.
I also had the
misfortune of working under and with some mean and controlling lady bosses
alongwith some jealous and bitchy female colleagues. Working with them was no
less than a nightmare. Some of them thought raising their voices and throwing
things around would prove their point. Or conniving or bitching behind my back
would help them grow in the organization.
It’s funny how a woman can pull down or destroy another
woman out of mere jealousy. After marriage I had thought I had gotten another
set of parents. But I was in for a rude shock, my mother in law tried to pull
me down and dominate me at every instance possible. Being a woman and a mother
I had thought she would support me but I was so wrong.
Similarly, a good
friend of my husband’s turned out to be my greatest nemesis. I had thought
after marriage I had found a friend but it turned out, while being friendly on
my face, she was actually trying to wean my husband away, despite her being
married. That she had a hidden agenda I wasn’t aware of.
Messaging and calling him day and night notwithstanding if I
was around.. She pretended to be his sister but used to write romantic messages
to him. She was in the habit of extracting huge sums of money from him for
years and wouldn’t let him get emotionally closer to me. No matter what I would
do, wouldn’t impress my husband. For him she was the gal!! I know my husband is
to be blamed as well but being a so called good friend she had the onus of
making my relationship with my husband stronger. Instead she just did the
opposite. I had to put up with this every single day of my life since I got
married. Thanks to putting my foot down and shifting to a foreign land she backed
down and I could find my happiness with my husband.
We blame men for the plight of our society and women being
ostracized. But we are to be equally blamed for not only standing up for
ourselves and but for our fellow gender.
