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Sunday, November 15, 2015

Stereotypes

Most women in India are fighting against established stereotypes. The stereotypes are everywhere. Women all over the world are stereotyped more so in India. 
Its starts with her birth, despite changing times, in a lot of families the birth of a baby girl is not a matter of rejoicing. It’s still a matter of concern due to huge costs involved in the weddings burden of which falls on the girl’s parents.
Despite the fact that these days girls are no less than the boys in terms of education, sports, and in various professions, etc., the ultimate aim of an Indian girl still remains to become eligible enough to be married and have kids. To be an accomplished cook and efficient in household work. Professional achievements can go down the drain.
All her life she works hard to achieve her career goals, only for it to become secondary to her marriage, her husband, kids and in-laws. Becoming a good wife and daughter-in-law becomes her primary aim after marriage.
Stark reality reveals itself right after marriage. She is judged constantly, made to feel like a pariah if she decides to assert herself. A woman with a mind of her own is frowned upon. Hell boils over if she has to live with her in-laws. The son of the house sits around with his legs up whereas the daughter –in-law is supposed to pitch into the household chores, eat what she is told to eat, wear what she is told to wear, cook what she is told to cook and behave as she is told to behave. Any occasion or festivals mean she is not supposed to enjoy herself but pitch-in in every chore possible and behave like a dutiful wife/daughter-in-law all the time. .
Her parents are supposed to become alien to her and become less important to her than her in-laws. Her duty is to please her in-laws and be at their beck and call. It’s frowned upon if she wants to go visit her parents or go stay with them. Alas! in-laws never become parents and the daughter-n-law never becomes a daughter.
A married woman in India is supposed to make all the sacrifices without having a voice of her own. She is not supposed to have the right to take her own decisions. She is judged constantly.
And if she decides not to work after marriage she loses her self-respect and independence due to her financial dependency on her husband. It’s a sad reality.
Nevertheless there are still a lot of women who have been very lucky to have had understanding families and in-laws and husbands. Also women who have had the courage to assert themselves to gain freedom to live their lives on their own terms.
It's high time women started asserting themselves more and living their lives based on their own terms. And not accepting any further stereotypes imposed on them.
We live only once and it should be on our own terms. It’s also very important for women to be financially independent. This is the only way of gaining self respect. And she should stop harboring guilt for any decision she undertakes to make their life better and to live a fulfilling one!!




Wednesday, July 29, 2015

RECLAIMING MY HEART

Here I go reclaiming my heart
A heart I gave away to you..
A heart which never belonged to you..
I know I love you but I love me more than you..
My heart is mine and will always be mine..
A heart which I gave away was broken apart
And was left with me to fix all that was apart..
Now that I have it back, I shall take care of it..

Here I go reclaiming my heart…

Monday, July 27, 2015

Maybe


Maybe I got it all wrong, maybe I came in between, where I wasn't supposed to be,
Maybe I agreed to be something I couldn’t be..
Longed for your love but only got you to misunderstand me..
Now I only wait for you to maybe understand me..
The wait is too long and the road is endless..

Hoping maybe I won’t end up going away with a broken heart..

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Racism within India...

We all are trying to fit in somewhere..Trying to be portrayed as cool, having the so-called cool quotient.
The latest fad is to be seen around foreign expats in India. Its kinda cool if you have some firang friends or a firang girlfriend or a boyfriend! Funniest part is, its the educated, well-exposed Indians who are practising it. They find their fellow Indians uncool and boring.
The men who have studied and lived abroad, think of Indian girls brought-up in India to be conservative and boring.Unless, they try to practise the same values as their foreign/white counterparts.These men behave like lapdogs in front of them. And its not only the case with the men, its the same with the women in India. When we travel abroad its so hard for us Indians to even become remotely acquainted and mingle with the people living there. Not that I am blaming people living in other countries. My only contention is that why this bias towards your fellow countrymen. Why such racism?! We are brought up with certain values which are totally indigenous to our wonderful country and this is what sets us apart. Our culture, our humility, our values!
Its wonderful to appreciate other cultures, other values, being hospitable, being friendly to people from other countries/cultures but not at the cost of our own inherent values, our culture, our people!
How does it set us apart from the uneducated Indians giving weightage to foreign tourists, running after them, shopkeepers entertaining a foreigner instead of an Indian, especially if they are white skin?
We all are guilty of this, at sometime, somewhere! 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

The Concept of Friendship

All through my life I have loved being with friends and striven to form valuable friendships...The need for friends arises because of the society as well as because we are social beings. For me, it was more about doing things which I could not do alone...Sounds selfish, yes it does. Although I began on a selfish note after a lot of years of striving to form friendships I have come to realize the real meaning of having friends. Friends who are true to you and there for you in your time of need and with whom you can share so much.. Makes your life worth living!
The concept of friendship is very complicated.We meet a lot of people during our lifetime and form friendships with them. Some stay on and some move on. Nevertheless, all of them teach some lesson or the other. They give you the greatest lessons in life...especially with regard to who to trust and who not to trust.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Relationships which make you feel Unloved!


I keep reading Positive Thinking blogs and I feel they always inspire me and have given me valuable insights into my life's struggles. I recently came across a blog by Iyanla Vanzant, "Unloving Situations". It just felt like the Divine was reaching out to me through this blog. 
It made rethink and realize that there are times when we are in the most unhappiest time of our lives and we latch onto people and relationships, who give us nothing in return. We treat them just as emotional anchors. And I am totally guilty of it! 
Its like a vicious circle. You love someone who doesn't love you back the way you want them to and there is someone who loves you like crazy but unfortunately there is zilch attraction between the two of you. How much ever you try, it is very difficult. Love is so tricky! Phew!!
Yet we can still break this vicious circle by getting out of relationships which are unloving, disrespectful, inadequate and do not honor us as human beings and for being part of a relationship. A relationship should make you happy, help you grow as a person and not make you feel sad and inadequate for most of the time. It is not right to let another person walk all over you for the sake of love.Where they are not clear on your role in their life and they keep you on the sidelines and keep you hanging. Love is beautiful and it is the only thing that helps you grow as a human being. Then why should you compromise on this most beautiful thing in your life. It is better to be alone than be with someone who does not value you and does not respect you. Unless and until your heart is in doubt the relationship cannot grow. And if you keep getting the feeling of inadequacy and anxiety fills you up, it is better to move out and than prolong the pain of being in another inadequate relationship. Because it is not possible to make another person happy if you are unhappy in a relationship.
We meet people who really love you but unfortunately it is not possible to love everyone who loves you but yes, we can let them go to find the person who can love them back. Its better to be upfront rather than keep them hanging. 
Neither of the above situations can make us happy. It is not loving to convince yourself that it is okay to stay in a place where you are not loved, honored, and valued the way your heart tells you you deserve to be. 

Friday, April 26, 2013

Love is the greatest healing power of all.



‘’Love is what we were born with.  Fear is what we learned here.’’ Marianne Williamson.
LOVE BEGINS WITH YOU: Your inner voice is where your story of love begins: It is hard to feel worthy of love if someone is criticizing you all the time and especially if that someone is talking in your head.
True love isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.
Love and kindness is a way of living.  Where there is love, there is no judgment.  Where there is judgment, there is no love.
Love is the great transformer ,  the greatest medicine to heal the whole world.
Love is something you and I must have.  We must have it because our spirit feeds
upon it.
Love is the greatest healing power of all.
Love fuels passion, hope and desire. It generates creativity giving us purpose and making us feel alive.
 All your love matters and makes a difference.
 Love is accepting others as they are, allow them to be themselves and stop trying to change them.
From  Neale Donald Walsch, in his best-selling series Conversations With God, he shared one of the most profound solutions to any challenge you may ever be faced with. He gives us one of the most powerful 5-word questions you will ever hear. This is a question that you can ask yourself if you ever feel a need to react to someone else's unkind behavior. Here's the question: What would LOVE do now?
You can ask this question the next time you feel challenged to respond or react to someone who, you feel, has wronged you.
You see, love truly is ALL THERE IS. The Beatles sang.
Love is the path of joy. Love is the building block of life. Love takes the form of thoughts, words and deeds. Choosing love is like exercising any muscle. The more it is repeated, the easier it becomes.
Karina Loureiro.