I keep reading Positive Thinking blogs and I feel they always inspire me and have given me valuable insights into my life's struggles. I recently came across a blog by Iyanla Vanzant, "Unloving Situations". It just felt like the Divine was reaching out to me through this blog.
It made rethink and realize that there are times when we are in the most unhappiest time of our lives and we latch onto people and relationships, who give us nothing in return. We treat them just as emotional anchors. And I am totally guilty of it!
Its like a vicious circle. You love someone who doesn't love you back the way you want them to and there is someone who loves you like crazy but unfortunately there is zilch attraction between the two of you. How much ever you try, it is very difficult. Love is so tricky! Phew!!
Yet we can still break this vicious circle by getting out of relationships which are unloving, disrespectful, inadequate and do not honor us as human beings and for being part of a relationship. A relationship should make you happy, help you grow as a person and not make you feel sad and inadequate for most of the time. It is not right to let another person walk all over you for the sake of love.Where they are not clear on your role in their life and they keep you on the sidelines and keep you hanging. Love is beautiful and it is the only thing that helps you grow as a human being. Then why should you compromise on this most beautiful thing in your life. It is better to be alone than be with someone who does not value you and does not respect you. Unless and until your heart is in doubt the relationship cannot grow. And if you keep getting the feeling of inadequacy and anxiety fills you up, it is better to move out and than prolong the pain of being in another inadequate relationship. Because it is not possible to make another person happy if you are unhappy in a relationship.
We meet people who really love you but unfortunately it is not possible to love everyone who loves you but yes, we can let them go to find the person who can love them back. Its better to be upfront rather than keep them hanging.
Neither of the above situations can make us happy. It is not loving to convince yourself that it is okay to stay in a place where you are not loved, honored, and valued the way your heart tells you you deserve to be.
I could have wrote this!!!!! Everything is so true with what has been happening with me. I just broke up with my BF of 19 mos yesterday AM (actually it was mutual). I love him so much, but he does not treat me like I deserve to be treated - like I want to be treated. I let him get away with far more than I would let anyone get away with and I don't understand why. Not one single person that I know, including his friends, thought that I should be with him. I literally spent from 4:30 am into the afternoon either texting or FB msging with people yesterday. I have an overwhelming amount of support from people checking to make sure I am ok. People saying that they are glad fit finally happened...some of his friends said that they consider me a friend and I deserve to be happy and they know he's not going to do that. He is too selfish. Ok, I don't know why I'm rambling like this. I'm going to share your entry on my FB wall and then I'm going to read some of your other entries.
ReplyDeleteI love your last line: I have just decided to exactly do that and have started my journey of loving myself again. And finding out what I truly deserve......
Hi Demery,
DeleteSo glad to know that my blog and personal experience made some difference. Thank you so much for liking my post.
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